DQE Seal

Office of Scan Prevention

A Division of the Department of Questionable Engineering
Directive 11-C — Federally Discouraged Surface

Please Do Not Scan

This website, its markings, and its underlying ports are maintained by the Office of Scan Prevention and are not intended for scanning of any kind — optical, mechanical, algorithmic, or emotional. By reading this sentence you are already approaching recommended exposure limits.

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Authorized Scans
Unsolicited Scans Logged
Jurisdictions Involved

Compliance Verification Code (Do Not Verify)

To confirm that you will not scan, simply do not scan the code below. The Department thanks the overwhelming majority of citizens who have successfully not scanned it. Their restraint has been logged, in triplicate.

A QR code you have been asked not to scan
Fig. 1 — Official Non-Engagement Glyph. Scanning this code constitutes a scan.

What Counts as Scanning

  • Port scanning. All 65,535 of this establishment's ports are decorative.
  • QR scanning. See Fig. 1, which you were asked not to see in that way.
  • Skimming this page. Yes, that. The thing you are doing right now.
  • Reading between the lines. The space between these lines is Department property.

If You Have Already Scanned

Remain calm. Proceed directly to the Unsolicited Scan Intake Portal, where your scan will be assigned a number and your apology will be processed in the order it was received. Estimated processing time: 6–8 business decades.